You know how when you are young, forty seems really old and will be forever before you reach it? Well, next week, I will approach "forever". I can remember being in high school and thinking this day would be such a long way off! Now, as I sit here blogging I realize that it came far too soon! Where did the time go? The past couple of years has brought so much change to my lifek that at times I felt undone.
In August 2008, I watched my 17 year old son walk out the door and join the Air Force. With that came the anguish of watching him make decisions to not follow the Lord. It crushed me to the core and there were times all I could do was breathe. I had always heard that is it difficult to raise your children, but harder to let them go. I was living this experience! My children are raised in a Godly Christian home and attend a Baptist Christian Academy. They know what God says in the bible, and how God feels about how to live your life. When I watched my son make decisions to the contrary, it was difficult to sit back and watch him intentionally turn away from the Lord. Part of my journey through all of this has been to trust God and know that He is allowing this to happen for a reason. He is allowing my son to make the wrong decisions. If HE didn't want him to, it wouldn't happen. "All things work together for GOOD". I have grasped a hold of the biblical truth and won't let GO!
Health wise, the 30's were not good for me. I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndome, and suffer Familial Hemeplegic Migraines. Now, I think I have rhumatoid arthritis, but have yet to want to hear the actual diagnosis! It runs in the family and I have all of the tell tale signs. That one in my opinion TRULY marks my age! Along with the health issues came 50 pounds of unwanted weight from attempts with different medications to regulate the symptoms. Do you think I can get rid of the weight now? NO! It is true that the metabolism slows down! However, most days I find I simply do not have the energy that I used to in order to buckle down and stick to an exercise program. So, with the new decade, I plan to find a way to drop the weight in a healthy manner. I say healthy because I am a recovering anorexic of 11 years. However, I am going to look at things positively for a change and grasp the 40's as a time to regain the lost groung!
This past year has brought some incredible vacations, some planned, some not planned. My husband and I went to Los Angeles, and I left very thankful for the open fields and the room to breathe! I also experienced my first earthquake! It was one I will be thankful to never experien ce again. We also went to New Ulm, MN on a fishing and camping trip for a week. Then we took the five children at home on a three week RV trip to Wilmington, NC. That much time in a 30 foot camper with 4 teens and a 7 yr old gives you plenty of time to "feel the love". We enjoyed the experience, the ocean, the lighthouses, mountains, hills, and historical sites. We also spent time serving the Lord at Peace Baptist Church where we were welcomed with open arms.
Then, when we returned we found out our 18 yr old son in the Air Force was going to get married! I have always told my children that I didn't want to be a grandma before I was 40. So, with this came the news that his bride to be had a little guy that was almost 2. Within 5 weeks, we were on our way to Utah! It was a wonderful time with the family in the condo, meeting my future daughter in law and grandson. I was PROUD and excited to be a grandma!!!
Now, as 40 is ready to knock on my door, I prepare to say "goodbye" to a son that is deploying to Qatar for 6 months, an incredible husband that is planning our 11th wedding anniversary trip to St. Louis, and five wonderful children who make me proud and bless me with their willingness to serve the Lord! I am determined to not let a number get me down; it is all relative right? I am going to willing search what God has in store for me as I reach the decade where: my children will not need me to mother them the same as they did before, where my "titles" are going to be altered, when I can have little ones at my house and send them home spoiled when their stay is done, and end each day knowing that every day God gives me is a blessing!
Praise the Lord for 40!!!!